Allow me to Introduce Myself

Hi, my name is Freddy Gaines, I'm a Renaissance man, with a knack for modesty. I'm the Catch-Phrase-King and have a passion for repetitive humor (everything's an inside joke; including the previous statement). I don't like saying goodbye twice, especially in parking lots.

I am currently a resident of Virginia making a living doing something I enjoy. My free time is spent watching documentaries, learning, pushing the limits of ridiculousness, and enjoying life to the fullest. I've mastered the art of telling a bad joke and making it funnier then a good one. Necessity is the mother of invention.

I talk a lot louder then I should. Acronyms are always coming out my mouth, TWSS. I haven't paid for a haircut in 2 years (I guess that infers I have some kind of hookup at a local barbershop. I guess I'll just let you assume that and continue on with my unorganized rant). I have a passion for repetitive humor. I enjoy getting in debates about things that no one can prove. I once freestyled over "Billie Jean" at a biker bar, on karaoke night, and lived to tell about it. I'm not addicted to gambling.

I'm horrible with directions. I break cellphones too often. I've quoted rappers in term papers. My shoes are always clean. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. Actually never mind, that was Shock G from Digital Underground.

Smoke bomb.