MIA

Yes, I have been absent from these aforementioned shenanigans. Absent from Jack. Absent from tailgating. Absent from bull dike dates.

I have been molding my mind around new, sustainable technologies that will allow us to reconquer our energy supply and continue to rule the known natural world. Yes, boys and girls, I'm talking about biodiesel. I learned how to brew it this weekend and what a wonderful trade.

INGREDIENTS:
100 parts vegetable oil
10 parts alcohol (methanol or ethanol)
5 parts catalyst (sodium or potassium hydroxide)

INSTRUCTIONS:
Kiss back of hand. Pour catalyst on hand so that it absorbs all water from kiss and burns the shit out of it. Think Fight Club. Next, mix alcohol with catalyst in jar. Swirl until dissolved. Add mixture to vegetable oil. Shake. Let settle. You will be left with biodiesel and glycerin. Which you can make soap out of. Think Fight Club.

Don't try this at home.


In other news...

Got a call from drunk Jason on Saturday night. Hanging out with 18 year old girls. Getting them hammered. Irresponsibility. What we've come to expect from our youngest brother.

In other news...

Freddy and I need to record our new hit rap song. Nothing's going to stop us after President's Day.