Chris Paul vs. Ron Jeremy: An academic comparison

With the inevitable comparison between CP3 and whichever point guard you choose to fondly remember (Pre-knicks Isiah), your boy Jason has decided to take a look at someone much closer to CP3 than your point guard du jour (or Tiger).

So, for your perusal,

Chris Paul vs Ron Jeremy


Lets look at the statistics

• Both are short for their profession: CP- 6'0, RJ- 5'6
• Both play much larger than their appearance would show: CP- 11.6 apg, RJ- 9.75 in
• Neither is often seen on National TV
• Both have names comprised of two first names (Think about it, if it was Paul Christopher or Jeremy Ronald, would you notice? Actually, probably, nevermind that point)
• Both make players around them look better. You could put me beside Ron Jeremy and even I would look like Fabio out there. Similarly, even Kwame Brown would look like an All-Star next to CP3 (Okay, maybe he'd score double digits. No? FINE, he'd get playing time? This list is falling apart faster than the Spurs)
• Before they got famous, both had to resort to something dirty to get recognition. Paul Christopher for his Tony-Skinn-esque love-tap to Julius Hodge, and Jeremy Ronald for his auto fellatio. I'm not even going to give you a link to either, because frankly nothing anyone can tell me will convince me to link to auto fellatio, and for my money, Chris Paul owes Tony Skinn royalties for the balltap. DID YOU GET TO THE FINAL FOUR PAUL CHRISTOPHER???
  
• Both have been the elite in their industry without the ultimate recognition. Paul Christopher is going to get 2nd in the MVPIAMMM (Most Valuable Player In A Major Media Market), while Jeremy Ronald had a four year run in the 80's in which he only took home the AVN award for best supporting actor. In other news, anyone with tickets to the AVN's please contact MrJasonGaines AT gmail DOT com.
• If you combine the two, you'll have Ron Paul, libertarian hero of young men living in their parents basement everywhere. Actually, if you think about it, avid sports blog readers or pornography perusers most likely live in their parents basement anyways.

So there you have it, the scientifically researched, peer reviewed, totally bullet, earthquake, and Bruce Bowen proof theory that Chris Paul is not the next coming of Isiah, Tiger (what?), or Smush Parker. Any complaints can be sent to MrJasonGaines@Gmail.com







Splash.