Hustlin’

Chris Paul vs. Ron Jeremy: An academic comparison

With the inevitable comparison between CP3 and whichever point guard you choose to fondly remember (Pre-knicks Isiah), your boy Jason has decided to take a look at someone much closer to CP3 than your point guard du jour (or Tiger).

So, for your perusal,

Chris Paul vs Ron Jeremy


Lets look at the statistics

• Both are short for their profession: CP- 6'0, RJ- 5'6
• Both play much larger than their appearance would show: CP- 11.6 apg, RJ- 9.75 in
• Neither is often seen on National TV
• Both have names comprised of two first names (Think about it, if it was Paul Christopher or Jeremy Ronald, would you notice? Actually, probably, nevermind that point)
• Both make players around them look better. You could put me beside Ron Jeremy and even I would look like Fabio out there. Similarly, even Kwame Brown would look like an All-Star next to CP3 (Okay, maybe he'd score double digits. No? FINE, he'd get playing time? This list is falling apart faster than the Spurs)
• Before they got famous, both had to resort to something dirty to get recognition. Paul Christopher for his Tony-Skinn-esque love-tap to Julius Hodge, and Jeremy Ronald for his auto fellatio. I'm not even going to give you a link to either, because frankly nothing anyone can tell me will convince me to link to auto fellatio, and for my money, Chris Paul owes Tony Skinn royalties for the balltap. DID YOU GET TO THE FINAL FOUR PAUL CHRISTOPHER???
  
• Both have been the elite in their industry without the ultimate recognition. Paul Christopher is going to get 2nd in the MVPIAMMM (Most Valuable Player In A Major Media Market), while Jeremy Ronald had a four year run in the 80's in which he only took home the AVN award for best supporting actor. In other news, anyone with tickets to the AVN's please contact MrJasonGaines AT gmail DOT com.
• If you combine the two, you'll have Ron Paul, libertarian hero of young men living in their parents basement everywhere. Actually, if you think about it, avid sports blog readers or pornography perusers most likely live in their parents basement anyways.

So there you have it, the scientifically researched, peer reviewed, totally bullet, earthquake, and Bruce Bowen proof theory that Chris Paul is not the next coming of Isiah, Tiger (what?), or Smush Parker. Any complaints can be sent to MrJasonGaines@Gmail.com







Splash.

Pep Talks

"Everybody wants sunshine, that's not always pleasant. Too much sun and no rain forms a desert." - Papoose

Lately I've had a few conversations with people about motivation and needing someone to say something to them to help pick them up. I often reply with some lame speech I've given a thousand times, probably comprised of bits and pieces of things I've heard older people in my life say and things I've seen in movies. The truth is you're the only one that you can truly control how you feel. If you sleep in all day and you don't feel like getting up to take a shower and get yourself moving then that's an internal question you need to address.

Another thing I've noticed a lot of my peers doing lately is complaining (me in included) about how something didn't go right or how the outcome you were expecting didn't happen. This generation has turned in people that make excuses and are self-pitying, Sure its natural to feel down once in a while, but if you're constantly complaining about how the chips aren't falling your way. Maybe you're the reason its happening.

Every healthy person needs to go through good and bad times. Its all relative. This is cliche (but the truth). If you never experience failure, you'll never be able to understand the value of success. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team. (Ok that's not entirely true, but its a joke I use to have with people because every year at basketball tryouts no matter who the coach was they'd tell that story). The older I get the more I realize that situations good and bad are often what shape your character.

Another thing related to that is fear. Just because you've failed at something before doesn't mean that should prevent you from going for it again. (Do not use this statement when deciding whether or not to touch a frying pan.) Fear is something that is in our instincts to help us survive but it also screws up our decision making process often because we allow a feeling of failure to prevent us from doing what we want. Ok enough of me preaching. I'm going to go out and do something with my life today.

Chris Paul Blog Day!

Gaines Family Blog is proud to be a part of At The Hive's Chris Paul Blog Day, a celebration of the utter rediculosity that is CP3. We'll have one (or more) articles from the Gaines fam on May 6th, but we'll start with this, to get you warmed up:



In other news, I'm going to focus on DC sports for a while, including the impending, heartbreaking, and utterly typical Game 7 overtime (LeBitch) James buzzer beater. Hey, it wouldn't be DC without it! You'll still get your fix of angry rants, bad rap music, absentee bloggers (Jeremy), and promises of increased posting and better content.